


Stakeout

by sparky955



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E.
Genre: 2014 Valentine's Day Challenge, F/M, MFU Scrapbook
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-14
Updated: 2014-02-14
Packaged: 2018-01-12 07:23:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1183476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparky955/pseuds/sparky955
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two agents on their way to a stakeout.  Sort of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stakeout

**Author's Note:**

> Written for jkkitty's request in the Live Journal MFU_Scrapbook 2014 Valentine's Day challenge.

“Your brother is going to kill me.”

“Well, if he doesn’t, I might."

"Aw, come _on,_ Jo.”

"Come on, nothing.  One would think the CEA of the New York Command would bloody remember to check the gas tank before taking a car from the motor pool.”

“What can I say?  My mind was spinning at the thought of working a stakeout with you.”

"That’s odd, I don’t see any cattle in those fields.”

“Excuse me?”

“I am suddenly being assaulted with the odor of _bullshit”._

“Okay, I screwed up.  I admit it.  I assumed that Charlie and the guys would always make sure the available vehicles were topped off and ready to go.”

“Which one of those cretins signed out this heap to you?”

“Elmer.”

“Note to self: torture Elmer before weekend. “

"He’s new.

“He’s dead meat.”

“Dearling, is there a reason that the Kuryakin thermal reactor is burning a bit hotter than usual? “

“I had… plans.”

“Plans?”

"Yes, _plans.”_

“Would you care to expand and elucidate upon said plans?”                       

“What day is today?”

“Wednesday.”

“What date is today?”

“The fourteenth.”

“What month is today?”

“Febru –oh, mother of God… “

“Obviously, in your debauched past, you avoided the commemoration of Valentine’s Day with your coterie of admirers.  Were there not enough heart shaped boxes of candy in the United States to supply your needs?”

“Josephine –“

“Answer your communicator, Agent Solo.”

“Channel D open.”

“Napoleon, are you traveling by donkey cart?”

“Ha, ha.  Listen, partner, I’m in a bit of a jam.”

“Sister mine, has our blockhead done it again?”

_“Da, brat.”_

“Napoleon, I’m about to perform another last minute rescue of you.  Stakeout cancelled.”

“You’re serious?”

“Indeed.  We got him.  Section Three is already transporting him in.”

“Good work, IK.”

“Did you expect anything else from a Kuryakin?”

“Ohhh, Kuryakins tend to surprise me from time to time.”

“And, on that note, I will leave you to your fate.  Josephine?”

“Yes, my brother?”

“Do not break his right hand.  He has mission reports to write.”

“No promises.”

“May your god go with you, partner.  Kuryakin out.”

“Napoleon… _NAPOLEON ????”_

“Yessssssss?”

“We’re on duty, _stop that !”_

“Light of my life, we were never _on_ duty.”

“Explain.  And, did you just grow three other hands?  I said, _stop that!”_

“There was no stakeout.  We got Fishberg over the weekend.  Illya is still in the City.  And, I knew we’d run out of gas.”

“No…  got…  in the City…  you _knew?_ “

“I wanted to give you a romantic evening away from work that would be as special as you are.”

“The Ritz-Carlton ran out of rooms?”

“Hotels aren’t special.   _This_ is special.”

“What do you have in the trunk?”

“To complement this spectacular sunset  provided by _The Number One Number_ _One_ ,  one Command-designed pop up tent, one Solo-designed triple wide fur-lined sleeping bag, one Coleman lamp, one picnic basket of Ukranian/Italian delights, two bottles of Dom…and one rose, for the most precious woman in my life.”

“Oh, Napoleon, I am _so sorry_. My temper… “

“Hey, I cut my teeth working with your brother.  I know how to weather Russian volcanic eruptions.”

“Napoleon?”

“Yes, my sweet?”

“You can go back to using all five of your hands, now.”

“Yes, my sweet.”

**Author's Note:**

> Agent Josephine Kuryakin is an original character created by jkkitty.


End file.
